inspirational true story + James Franco + inevitable Oscar nod + that Slumdog Director + Castaway + in the desert + a big rock + Wile E Coyote + hand pancake + oops + stuck + between a you know what + and a you know what + ants + crows + no cell phone + camcorder + monologues + flashbacks + dry mouth + limited water + urine + no options + dull knife + homemade tourniquet + dense bone + nerve fibre + cover your eyes + don't pass out + lesson learned + there is always an option + find a way
Angelina Jolie + enormous lips + Russians + SPIES + really bad blonde wig + lots of jumping + equally bad black wig + Liev Shreiber + it's pronounced LEE-EV + that awesome black actor from Dirty Pretty Things whose name I won't even try to pronounce + that awesome director who did the Jack Ryan movies + spiders + helicopters + 18-wheel trucks + NON-STOP ACTION + moles + dozens of extremely well-trained secret service agents + who can't beat up one skinny white girl + international intrigue + wimpy American President + lots of running + amazing freeway stunts + a not so amazing elevator stunt + did I mention non-stop action + plot twists + WORTH SEEING
Every Movie Trailer
in a world + where nothing is what it seems + there is a place + all your dreams come true + once in a while + a person comes along + everything changes + pitch perfect + number one film + from the producers of that film that made money + those Oscar nominated actors + one of those writers + polished by eleven other writers + adapted from that bestseller + you won't believe your eyes + edge of your seat + action packed + high octane + thrill ride + laugh out loud + perfect date movie + film critic quote + fun for the whole family + tugs at your heart strings + doesn't let go + the ending will shock you + worlds collide + the best jokes are in the trailer + now in stunning 3D + nothing will prepare you + for the money you will spend + the movie event of the year + opens Friday + on DVD Monday
EAT PRAY LOVE
(Note: I have not seen this movie yet. The following keyword: film critic review is just a "guesstimation").
Julia Roberts + extremely flattering lighting + beautiful scenery + an Oprah book + Italy India Bali + sensitive guys with accents + self-discovery + a painful journey + tears of joy + men suck + then she met the man who changed everything + chick flick + an Oscar push + I'll wait for the male version + Snack Fart Nap + also in three locations + Kitchen Couch Recliner + Let Yourself Go + bring toilet paper
that Batman guy + Leonardo DiCaprio + the 1984 movie Dreamscape + way more bullets + the kid from Third Rock + confusing plot + that French chick + snowmobiles + a cool British guy + two and a half hours + that Irish guy + the van is still falling + did I mention Dreamscape + edge-of-your-seat-action-packed-thrill-ride + a spinning top + zero gravity fighting + the new Matrix + did the movie end or am I just dreaming + am I the only one who thinks DiCaprio's head is enormous + if they ever make a Family Guy movie he should play Stewie + dream within a dream + within a dream + within in a dream
P.J. Marino is a Hollywood Reporter with a Variety of skills, such as acting, bartending, and cuddling. His favorite pastimes are reading Entertainment Weekly, applying for work-at-home jobs on craigslist, and pizza.